"As you start to walk on the way, the way appears." – Rumi
Do we have to be "good at something" to be confident in doing that something? Do we need to know exactly how to create an intended outcome in order to confidently begin the journey?
When I ask people these questions, the reply I usually hear is something along the lines of, yes you need to know and have been successful at something before you can be confident in doing it. This is a complete fallacy. Confidence is a way of being; it has nothing to do with doing. Let me explain.
Imagine yourself being at the bottom of a mountain that you’d like to summit. You’ve never climbed a mountain before, but you are looking to experience something other than being at sea level and it seems like this would be a fun experience. You decide you are going to go for it and begin the journey.
But before starting, you figure it would be wise to evaluate the mountain and try to determine what the best way up the mountain would be. You survey the landscape, read some books about hiking, get the proper gear, pick your route and you are ready to give it a go.
As you make your way towards the path you feel excited and maybe a little nervous to begin. You start walking and the boots feel great, the birds are singing; things are looking good. But as you continue, things start looking a little unusual, the landscape isn’t what you thought it was going to be and the discomfort settles in. You decide that this MUST not be the way to the top. You decide to come back down to re-evaluate.
Once back at the bottom, you decide you need more information to figure out how to get to the top. You see an advertisement on Facebook for a course to learn the shortcuts to the top of the mountain. It must be divine communication! You sign up immediately and learn some new paths to get to the top. You also realize that you couldn’t possibly get up the mountain because you aren’t in good enough shape. A friend recommends a great gym, you join and improve your fitness.
NOW you are ready! You get back to the base of the mountain and start the trek up the new path. As you start up the mountain you are excited and even optimistic this time. But a few hours into the hike, that feeling returns again… this doesn’t feel right. It doesn’t look the way you thought it was going to look. Maybe you aren’t meant to go this way. Maybe it isn’t possible. Maybe it’s because you have flat feet and weren’t designed to hike. Maybe it’s just not the best weather conditions. After some deep thought and reflection, you decide to go back to the start and re-evaluate.
You repeat this process over and over again. Gathering more information, educating yourself, taking seminars, reading books, visiting different podiatrists, chiropractors and listening to hiking podcasts.
You have now tried countless excursions up the mountain, only to turn around because of bad timing, uncertainty, doubt and not believing you can do it.
At this point if I were to ask you, after all this time, what you know about getting up to the peak of the mountain, the answer would be NOTHING! You would be able to tell me a lot of information about hiking trails, boots, pants, water bottles, back packs and give me a list of foot experts in the area.
What you could not tell me is what path leads to the top and furthermore you couldn’t even tell me which path doesn’t lead to the top! This is because there was never a commitment to any of the perceived paths that you embarked on. You turned around too soon on each excursion to truly know if it was or was not the way to the top.
This is the orientation of: I need to know more and successfully complete something, in order to be confident in that something. This orientation will have you engage from a state of uncertainty and self-doubt. The consciousness or intelligence of uncertainty and self-doubt will NEVER create a state of confidence. It will create, however, a lot of frustration, unworthiness and more self-doubt.
Confidence is a way of being. Embodying confidence and committing to an outcome will have you creating in an empowering and fulfilling way. Confidence doesn’t mean having all the answers and knowing how to do something. Confidence is knowing and believing you can do anything you choose to focus on creating.
Confidence is also knowing that you do not know how to do something you haven’t done before and that you are going to make a TON of mistakes and learn along the way, often at an exponential rate.
The key to creating anything you haven’t created before in your life is to confidently embark on the perceived path of your intended outcome and commit fully. You will learn everything and anything you need to know on how to create your intended outcome. As Henry David Thoreau stated, "If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours." Confidence fulfills dreams, not the other way around.
Confidence is a powerful emotion! Join Matt, and many others, at the next weekend program
Matt LaBosco the founder of the Vitality Center in Pasadena, CA and the creator of a new discipline in physical rehabilitation called Corrective Movement Therapy. He has been studying with Joey Klein since 2012 and has implemented the teachings of Conscious Transformation into all aspects of his life including family, business and physical health and well-being.