The Four Walls of Life

By Mandy Benedict, Conscious Transformation Certified Trainer

“The secret to change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new.” ~ Socrates

Six and a half years ago, I was telling a great story to myself. I practiced this story so much that I convinced myself that I should sell everything I owned and head to South America with my yoga mat for a few years. It seemed obvious that this would allow me to discover what was missing from my life. This feeling of lack left me unfulfilled and I thought that changing my environment, and climbing out of my perceived walls, I would find fulfillment. I tried traveling all over the world, building bigger houses, getting married, spending endless hours in my career but nothing seemed to touch my core and lead me to a life of fulfillment. I wanted to try to change things outside myself rather than look at how I was feeling inside. Thankfully, before I gave up everything to escape to South America, I began the internal development practices with Conscious Transformation.

When it came to my professional life, I appeared very successful and there were many elements that I enjoyed about my work and my business. My internal patterns, however, had me constantly feeling overwhelmed, obligated, stressed and inadequate. Through the Conscious Transformation program, I began very specific meditation practices that engaged mental and emotional training tools and conscious practices to shift those internal patterns. I never left my career, however, my current experience is one of boundless opportunities, passion, freedom, connection and fulfillment. I work within the same four walls, yet have an extraordinarily different experience of my professional life.

In regards to my physical body, from the time I was thirteen I did not like the way my body looked, especially in a bathing suit! My mind was constantly focused on all the things I did not think were good enough. My experience was one of self-judgment, unworthiness, embarrassment and shame. I was always trying to seek approval to know I was ok. As I began working with my emotional patterns, my relationship with my body changed. I now enjoy this extraordinary body and marvel at what we, as humans, can do physically. I feel appreciative, free, joyful, empowered and excited about the adventure of life! With this as the internal experience, I have an abundance of energy and passion to enjoy life in a new way!

Riding motorcycles was something I used to be comfortable doing only as a passenger. I had been on wonderful trips on the back of a motorcycle, starting at age seven when our neighbor’s dad would take us all for a tour into the mountains. It was so exciting and freeing to be on a bike. A couple of years ago, my boyfriend was purchasing a motorcycle for himself and encouraged me to try riding my own. I had been riding mountain bikes and snowmobiles for years, so I was comfortable the first time I tried. After taking a weekend safety riding course I decided to buy my own bike. We toured the mountains together but I knew I had a lot of skill to build before I was truly accomplished. The people we bought our bikes from encouraged a track day to build skill. When I registered for a day on the racetrack, I was so nervous it could even be identified as terror. I began to use the same consciousness practices to work on what I chose to create. By the time the track day came along, I was free, excited, expansive, courageous and filled with joy. I can say that I cultivated these emotional states inside of me to support what I chose to do. The track day became an amazing adventure, shifting from terror to freedom. Feeling great joy in my experiences allowed me to improve my skills so I am safer on the road.

There are countless examples in my life where I thought I needed to change the external experience instead of doing my internal training. The Conscious Transformation practices have shown me that the “four walls” I perceived are inside. By training my own internal patterns, I have created a new life even within the same external situations.

Everyone with the proper training can create the experience of life they choose. I look forward to all the wonderful creations to come!

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