"The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any." –Alice Walker
I was faced with the reality eight years ago that I had no control over things I convinced myself I did. Three of my family members passed away within nine months. I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease and was told by several doctors that I would have it forever and that I would likely develop other ones. I had been a Physical Therapist for 12 years. During this time, I had opened my clinic, and yet I felt totally lost, anxious, and overwhelmed in my career.
My daily experience was dependent upon what showed up that day. Some days, all of my clients were happy and felt better at the end of their sessions. When this occurred, I felt confident, happy, and proud. On other days, my patients did not feel better, or my worst nightmare, they felt worse after their treatment. In this situation, I felt like a total failure, sad, insecure, and anxious. My whole life was spent measuring myself by how others responded to me. I filled my evenings with picking apart my day with all the places I messed up. I was at a point where I finally acknowledged I had no power; in fact, I was hopeless, scared, anxious, and could not see a way out. It was at this point in my life where I took my first meditation class with Joey Klein, and within six weeks, I saw life through a completely new lens.
Through this work, I learned that I could train myself from the inside to show up with my clients embodying love, compassion, gratitude, and joy despite what was happening around me! I learned that the way others felt and acted towards me was not because of me. I learned not to measure myself based on how others responded to their treatment session. I began to understand that they showed up each day with their own set of emotions. When the body was in pain and discomfort, they were angry, afraid, and sad. I began to acknowledge that when I held a state of compassion, it was the most powerful thing I could do.
To be empowered, I had to acknowledge two key things. I had a choice; I could be open, try something new, and potentially create a different experience. Or, I could do, think, and feel the things like I have always done and stay in the same place I have always been. I chose to be empowered. There were two things I had to acknowledge and be willing to embrace:
- The way other people are behaving has nothing to do with me
- I have a CHOICE in how I respond
If I continued to blame how I felt on something outside of myself, then the only way to feel different was to change: other people, things that happen, the world. To expect this change was impossible and always left me feeling disempowered.
For years I took class after class, continuing education to uplevel my technical skills to be able to fix people. I thought that if I had "the magic tool," "technique," or "skill" that I would be able to fix everyone and ultimately feel better about myself! I was seeking this education from a place of fear, insecurity, and anxiety. Over the years, without finding "my magic tool," I eventually decided I must be in the wrong career and was considering what was next. I am so grateful that I met Joey Klein at this time, and he was able to teach me that unless I worked on myself first, no matter what career I landed, I was going to create the same experience. Through the tools and techniques I learned with Conscious Transformation, I began training my own emotional state and began sharing these tools with others. I watched my clients transform. Even when their physical pain did not diminish, I could support them in relating to their body in a new way, providing them with tools that empowered them to feel higher emotional states no matter what the condition of the body was. This new way of relating was freedom; this created empowerment!
Being in the business of serving others used to challenge me each day. Now I look at this industry as a gift. It is a gift because I can use it to train myself, and it also shows me where I am. If I am holding a high state, such as love, gratitude, joy, or peace, then by the end of every session with a client, I see a shift occur. I can see the impact that I have had simply by holding my state! It is quite simple yet absolutely amazing. If, on the other hand, I am not mastering my state, I can see this as well, and you can only imagine what occurs there. Now I can honestly say I have found the magic tool for which I had always been searching. I used to think that it was going to be some fancy external technique that I was going to have to travel far and train hard to discover…however it was always there, waiting inside of me. I had the gift of working with a client who works in the service industry a few weeks ago. She was thinking of leaving her career because she didn’t believe that she could fix people’s bodies. When I shared this story with her, she was in total amazement, and she was excited to begin to train herself to fully love and serve others, which is what she has always wanted to do.
I see how life is here to teach us, train us and show us where we are. The gift of serving others through the work of Conscious Transformation is the most empowering, fulfilling life I could have ever imagined for myself. I am so grateful for this amazing journey I am on every day.
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Laina is a certified Energy Practitioner and Trainer for Joey Klein’s Conscious Transformation. She began her journey with Conscious Transformation in 2012 and the practices she has learned have taught her how to live with a sense of joy, peace, purpose and fulfillment beyond what she ever would have believed possible.
Laina brings the work of Conscious Transformation to the world of health through her physical therapy work where she specializes in Corrective Movement Therapy. She shares her passion through supporting others to create vitality, freedom and love in their mind, emotions, physical body and connection to their spiritual selves.