"Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes." -Carl Jung
What happens when you "wake up" in the middle of your life and realize you haven’t created the "dream" you envisioned? How do you reset the stage? How do you reboot your life so you can realize your vision?
When I began my work with Conscious Transformation, I was a professional musician with a dream of being recognized by the world for creating music that inspired and transformed people. Singing on stage was one of the few places I found comfort. I could let go, and an electrifying power would move through me. Through that powerful force, I experienced peace. And through peace, I could access what seemed to be my purpose and connection to all that is.
However, no matter how much applause I received, my ritual after each performance was to flee the stage and seek the shelter in solitude to survive the inevitable crashing waves of existential emotions and thoughts that followed. It sounded like, I’m not good enough or what is the point of it all and it left me feeling hopeless inside of creative despair.
Before I met my mentor Joey Klein, I was living unaware of the principle that we create our life from "the inside out." After many years of consistent internal training, I became aware that my post-performance experience was driven by unconscious emotional patterns. I discovered that loneliness, despair and failure were feeding the belief that I needed to be a famous musician to have a purpose for living. This unconscious attachment allotted for a tiny window where I accessed a flicker of fulfillment and inspiration. The actual reality of living out my "dream" was filled with endless suffering amidst the fleeting "flickers."
I used to believe that my unique life purpose would reveal itself through a clear message from a divine outside source. But I have learned that unconscious needs and desires drove me to search outside myself for fulfillment. When we become aware of our internal thoughts and emotions, we begin to awaken and can start to create a new experience of life through empowered choice. But how do we awaken? Conscious Transformation!
One of the unique aspects of the Conscious Transformation lifestyle system is its encouragement of mentorship. Having a mentor was a new concept for me. I prided myself on being "independent." And although I was seeking intuitive messages to illuminate pathways for me to take to fulfill my purpose, the thought of relying on another human being for guidance seemed like a weakness. However, who I am today would not have been possible without the input of my trusted mentor; after all, the hardest person to see is oneself. If we choose to create an extraordinary life, we must go beyond our internal patterns. We were born into these patterns; they shaped us. These patterns, which we often refer to as our "gut feelings" and mistakenly think of as our intuition, are an unreliable guide to the higher self.
It can be disorienting when we start to look inside and "awaken." It is common to get lost in the labyrinths and endless rabbit holes of both old patterns and newly discovered thoughts and emotions. A highly skilled mentor is necessary to help recognize when we are looking through the distorted lens of our patterns. Mentors can offer an external perspective and train us to steer through the labyrinth. They are not there to tell us what to do. They act as a pillar, holding us accountable to fulfill what we have committed to create from the higher intelligence of our hearts.
In addition to mentorship, inspiration is necessary for creating vision and purpose. Today, inspiration is one of my favorite emotional states to activate internally. I have trained myself to become a source of inspiration by being fully present and open to the awe and wonder of each unfolding moment. When I consistently focus on what I can contribute to the collective, I access a feeling of expansive fulfillment far beyond anything I ever experienced on stage. I realize that to be inspired I must embody inspiration. I must own it, breathe it, be it and trust that it is not separate from who I am. I no longer chase the mirage of fame through external dreams. I now understand that internal state is the way I create!
The more I trained myself internally, the more I began redirecting my focus towards authentic inspiration, fulfillment and deep connection. When I learned to generate the state I was seeking, my attachment to external sources—like being on stage—began to dissolve. My life and my priorities transformed and my new vision began to blossom.
Today, I mentor and train others how to create from the inside out, by awakening their internal states and using that energy as the primary creative force. And through co-creating systems that support transformation globally, I experience the fullness of my unique contribution to humanity and my connection to all that is.
By choosing to trust my mentor, by consistently training and sustaining inspiration and by committing fully to my vision, there has been a shift in clarity and focus. I have let go of the old notions of what my life and dreams were "supposed to" look like. I still love creating music, and I love sharing it as a way to connect with my family and community. It is no longer my primary vehicle for the expression of my purpose and fulfillment.
The music I compose and share today isn’t limited to singing on stage; it is in the very fabric, texture and soul of my life. I AM music. Living a life of service has become the most extraordinary symphony of art, creativity and inspiration that I could have ever imagined possible…"Who looks inside, awakes."
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Anastacia Armstrong is a certified Energy Practitioner and Trainer of Conscious Transformation. She teaches throughout Central Oregon and serves on the Conscious Transformation Energy Practices Leadership Team, supporting and guiding others as they step into their own potential. With a focus in philanthropic and humanitarian endeavors, Anastacia is a visionary, serving to inspire others to experience freedom, fulfillment and empowerment, to support the expansion of a loving, cooperative global community